Benefits of Being the Shy Child in the Family
There Are Many Aspects to Our Personality
When a purchase or referral is made from an advertisement on this website a commission or referral payment is made to Lorelei Cohen.
With six siblings in our family there were certainly a few defining characteristics that each of us children could lay claim to. My oldest sister was the dominant one, my eldest brother was the perfectionist and I the middle child, was the shy one.
I was fine around my immediate family members, but when other relatives or acquaintances came into my contact, I transformed into a very different child. My ability to speak disappeared, and if I couldn't quickly find a place to hide, then I literally melted into the nearest woodwork. Although I am no longer shy, it was something that carried with me throughout my childhood and well into my early adulthood. It wasn't always an easy trait to deal with, but I do credit it for making me the person that I am today. There are detrimental aspects of shyness, but surprisingly there are also benefits. I am an introvert, intuitive, empathetic, and highly analytical. These are qualities that are often present in individuals who are shy. I Have Always Been This Way
One of my earliest memories is leaning behind the door frame of our living room, where, half hidden from view and with two rooms between us, I could effectively spy on the goings on within our kitchen. In this early memory, there were visitors, and although I can see only a couple of the people in our kitchen I can hear perfectly what is being said. It isn't a happy meeting but one more in keeping with the resolving of an issue.
Like a tiny computer, I digest the images and vocal tones. I am a watcher, not a participant, and this allows me to take in scenes like others watch a movie. The short laugh of my father is different, and his hands move upward for a brief moment as a sign of frustration. My mother's offer of coffee sounds forced and angry. I watch the tiny tell-tale signs of their emotions as they play out before me. I am analytical in my search for details. It is a mannerism that I always remember as having been part of my personality and a behavior that I will enact many times throughout my life. The search for emotional cues to evaluate a social scene is simply something that is in my nature to do. I don't believe it to be a learned behavior but rather a characteristic that I was born with. Where shyness is concerned, I believe that in the Nature versus Nurture question, nature definitely wins. Advertisement by eBay:
Potential Benefits of Being Shy
We May Want to Be Part of the Crowd But Feel Uncomfortable Joining In 
Shy people may or may not be introverts. Although we are generally quieter than extroverts. We alike any other individual, may or may not enjoy being in social settings. Shyness is not a defining characteristic of who is or isn't an introvert or extrovert at heart.
There is a definite difference between shyness and a social anxiety phobia. Shy people generally are not afraid of people, although we may be fearful of being placed in certain social situations. We may also feel uncomfortable when placed in the limelight or required to speak in a social or public setting. Most people will outgrow, adapt, or seek therapy to relieve the negative effects being shy may cause them, so as we age, we tend to become somewhat more assertive persons. Those who do not and who remain excessively shy can face a variety of difficulties in their adulthood. Although shyness is not a social phobia, it can cause issues for those who suffer from it. Detrimental Aspects
Shyness can, unfortunately, cause a variety of issues for those who suffer from it, and these can increase in intensity as these individuals age into unavoidable social settings such as school and work. In the teen years and in adulthood, reserved people are now required to successfully move into different types of relationships (business, friendship, romantic, etc.). It can be a challenge for some.
A feeling of loneliness or lack of inclusion can easily occur. Shy people often have a passive personality which can make it difficult to seek out or maintain a relationship. Also, to ensure that their role is fair generally requires an assertive personality, and this can leave the timid partner vulnerable to the wants of the more dominant personality. Bullies and abusive individuals may find us to be an easier target than more assertive individuals. Our voice is not always heard. Being shy in the workforce can reduce the likelihood of promotion or advancement. Although our work ethic may be excellent, it is our quiet nature that can hold us back from advancement within the company. We may not tout our accomplishments as loudly as others would or demand our right to move upward in placement. Through the aid of peers (or by modeling them), we shyer individuals generally learn to become somewhat more assertive in nature. I found that I placed myself within settings that required I step up my game. Perhaps it was a self-enforced assertiveness training program. Counselling from teachers or other professionals can be helpful for others in their adaptation process. I'm Okay - Are You Okay?
I was shy as a child, but now not so much. I now classify myself as an assertive person, but like most introverts, I spend a lot of time alone, and that is my choice. If when I am out, I now talk too much, this could be because I still feel uncomfortable in the current social setting. I am not a social butterfly and would never choose to be, it is just not something that I am good at being. I enjoy attending parties and other social events occasionally, but please don't request my presence too often. I'd rather be home writing and I'm okay with that. It's who I am.
|
HI I'm Lorelei. I hope you enjoy your visit to my site.
Related Articles
|
